7 Steps to Change any Feeling

How to Stop a Negative Trigger:

Sometimes certain things make us feel bad. Over time, we start feeling bad when we come across something specific, like a situation or a comment. Recently, I was asked to share some advice on how to deal with this kind of situation.

The basic idea is pretty simple. You need to connect a really good feeling with whatever makes you feel bad. For example, if criticism always makes you feel down, you need to create a strong positive feeling and link it with criticism. This way, criticism won't have the same effect on you anymore. Our brains are always making connections between what happens around us and how we feel. These feelings are meant to help us understand how to handle things.

We developed many of our feelings over time. For instance, fear helps us react quickly when we're in danger. But sometimes, our feelings don't help us like they should because the world has changed a lot since we first evolved. So, to change a bad feeling or stop a negative trigger, it's important to understand why we feel that way in the first place.

It's not always necessary, but it's a good idea if you want to make lasting changes in how you feel. Here are some simple steps to help you deal with any negative triggers or feelings:

1. Find the Trigger or Cause: Figure out exactly what's making you feel bad. Is it something someone said, a place, or something else?

2. Understand the Feeling: What exactly is the bad feeling you get from the trigger? How would you describe it?

3. Think About Why You Feel This Way: What's the purpose of this feeling? Why do you think it's there? What can you learn from it?

4. Find a Different Way: Can you achieve the same goal or purpose without feeling bad? What lessons can you take from the old feeling?

5. Choose a Positive Feeling: What kind of good feeling would help you when you think about the trigger?

6. Create that Positive Feeling: Remember a time when you felt really good. Imagine it vividly and let that positive feeling grow. Then, think about the trigger and feel good about it. Repeat this if needed.

7. Test It Out: Think about the trigger again and see how you feel. If you still feel bad, try a different positive feeling and repeat step 6.

Feelings like confidence, laughter, and relaxation usually work well in this process. Give these steps a try and let me know how it goes!